No Longer "the ex", now he's just someone I once dated.

Saw some pictures of the ex and his new family today. Came across them completely by accident, but then again I didn't stop myself from looking at them all. I braced myself for some sort of residual sadness, but I was pleasantly surprised to discover that there was none. No jealousy, no anger, no hurt. Just a stronger sense of certainty that where I am now, who I am with and all the new people that surround me are a better fit.
Trying to make yourself into something for someone else is never going to help you achieve happiness. You must be yourself, be confident in that person, and then surround yourself with people that like you for who you are. It takes a long time for some of us, but it's worth the trials once you get there.

It's all about the cushion

I missed my calling. How was I to know when I was 18 and planning my future by picking a college major that I would want to be a wedding planner? I'm not even sure they had wedding planners back then, it certainly was never presented to me as a career choice.

Can I just tell you how I am thriving with this whole thing? I am in my element; organizing, researching, making lists and timelines and budgets, with my binders and folders and books and websites. Perhaps it's having witnessed 127 friends, family and coworkers go through it already, or maybe this marriage is just meant to be, whatever the cause, I never thought planning a wedding would be so enjoyable!
(uh oh, now I've probably jinxed myself)

The latest task to be completed: Invitations ordered 7 months ahead of time. Due to arrive May 20. I think the key is to build in a cushion. I requested such an early shipping date just in case there is a problem and my invites are delayed. And if they are on time, even better! That gives me 2 whole months to take my time addressing them.

Ahh the cushion, it comes so naturally to me. I use it everyday. You think it will take you 20 minutes to get to your appointment? give yourself 30. Movie starts at 8? Tell yourself 7:45.
Some people may thing I waste too much time this way, but I'll tell you one thing, I am rarely ever late. And i pride myself on this. It's selfish and rude to keep others waiting. It's like saying "my time is more important than yours". And if I do get somewhere with time to spare, fortunately technology has made it so that I can pull out my phone and return some emails, or check out facebook, call my mom for a quick "how's your day?" chat. It's certainly never time wasted.

The cushion: a skill that has served me well and continues to make my life smooth sailing

New things this week

Some things that have been occupying my time this week:

Apartment Hunting for K. When I was little, my parents used to take us kidlets to look at model homes on the weekends. I loved this! Still do. So when K needed to find a new abode, I eagerly volunteered as her partner in the hunt. Something about helping people find a wonderful place to live makes me happy. I believe that residences have energy, and finding one with the right aura can contribute to changing your life. I mean you spend such a large amount of time in your home, it should feed your spirit with positivity! Such was my goal for K, to find her a place where i could feel the good energy that she would need to make this next part of her journey a pleasant one. This week we finally found her a place I am sure she'll love. And now she's gonna be my neighbor, bonus!

Prosecco: Dave began this obsession with prosecco the week before New Years. To him it's a new discovery, for myself, it's a pleasant rediscovery. One of the great things about Prosecco is that you can get a delicious bottle for a steal since unlike Champagne, it's relatively unknown. Apparently after some research done by Dave, it has been learned that Trader Joe's carries a delightful Prosecco...I plan on drinking a bottle Friday, I'll let you know how it is.

Job hunt!: I am on the hunt for a new job. A better job. A reasonable job. One where such things as Memorial and Labor day are actual holidays. One where after working there for 6 years you get an increase in paid time off. One where hard work and increased responsibility are rewarded with higher pay! So far I have applied for 4. My boss better watch out, cuz an unhappy Aly is a motivated Aly.

When it Rains...

San Diego is the desert. Many people either forget this or don't know it to begin with, but it is. So anytime we get some wet weather should be cause for celebration, and usually I am the first one to grab my umbrella and hit the streets to sing!

But not this weekend. This weekend I had plans, very important plans that the weatherman tells me I should reschedule. We are to expect one very wet Saturday. Only Saturday, not Friday, not Sunday, just Saturday. The ONE day I had scheduled my very important plans. Hrumph.

The appointment is set with my makeup girl, photographer managed to fit us into her busy busy schedule, and now it all will have to be canceled.

I suppose on the bright side, this gives me a few more weeks to slim down, tone up and find the perfect outfit?

On a more positive note: I found some save the dates today. After being forced to give up the cute picture magnet date saver idea (since out photos are rained out), I took to the internet and hunted down an acceptable alternative. Now I must wait 2 weeks for them to arrive...I hate waiting.

The Dress (picture does not represent actual dress)

I have run into my first moment of hesitation with the wedding. It surrounds the purchase of my dress, and I suspect it is the direct result of constantly hearing how important The Dress is.

I found what i believed to be "my dress" a few weeks ago during a preliminary shopping expedition. It was discovered at a little boutique that I had second guessed even bothering with because usually boutique is synonymous with expensive. But i checked it out figuring at least I might gather an idea about what I want.
Low and behold, come to learn that this particular shop is in fact very reasonably priced, and the quality of craftsmanship exceeds that of more expensive gowns I had previously tried. The only downside? All the sample sizes were 14 or 16. The owner wants any woman who comes in to be able to try on a dress, meaning forget the 4's and 6's. A small girl can be clipped into a 14 but a large lady; ain't no way she's getting into a 4. Makes sense to me, and made me love this place a little bit more, but made it hard to know for sure how the dress would look once it was in my size.

I tried on the 14 and loved the feel of the fabric (like buttah), the lines of the dress, the style, the fact that the dress was going to be made specifically to fit my body and the tailor would personally handle all alterations, pretty much everything about it was wonderful. And it was one of the only dresses I had put on that made me smile like a 5 year old playing princess.

Fast forward to this past weekend when the female family was in town to participate in the purchase. There was the whole pomp and circumstance of trying on a few so they felt like they were helping me to choose, but when it really came down to it I had already decided on my dress. Luckily, once mom and sis saw it, they too were in love. And that is the moment I became unsure...

What? How? The panel had all reached the same consensus I had, and now i waiver?

Perhaps it is the finality of having chosen a dress and my concern that I might happen upon something better down the line. I mean there are still 8 months to go! What else am i going to do at work all day if I'm not perusing wedding gowns online? Every other task has been completed, this was the last unchecked box on my list.
Or, is the dress symbolic of the wedding itself? Does actually purchasing the dress make all of this more real to me? Is it ok to have a little bit of anxiety about getting married even though I am 100% sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that spending the rest of my life with this man is better than anything I could have imagined?

Payment is due today and I have a couple hours to figure it all out or wait for a sign. Hopefully when i go to the shop and see the dress, all is made clear one way or the other.